Friday, July 31, 2015


I haven't updated this blog in quite awhile, and I wish I could say it was because I was off somewhere exotic doing exciting revolutionary stuff. But, sadly, no. I couldn't think of anything "interesting" to say, basically. It was then that I realized that I was trying way too hard to be "original". I have strikes of genius every now and then, its true. Otherwise my life is a lot like your life, sort of? I guess? See that's the thing. Anything I write about is in some way original because only I can see through my eyes, and only you can see through yours! Well, that took some of the pressure off! Anyways....update on life with three gremlins, I mean cherubs! Obviously...geez...what kind of mother do you think I am?

So, I have this son. My only son, also my youngest. When I was pregnant with him and people would ask me, "Oooh! A boy huh? You ready for a boy? Noise with dirt on it!" I always thought, well yeah hello. My girls are tomboys as it is, can't be that different except for a couple pieces of extra equipment right? (All you mothers of boys, your caucus laughing right now is just hurtful) Turns out that was false. I know I know. I am actually totally cool with it though. I am so loving my connection with my little man and how it differs in some inexplicable way from the connection I have with my daughters. I sort of expected the noise, it's just a different kind of noise. I'm on board with the action too, his "love taps" are cushioned by irresistible chubbiness. Rough slimy kisses are totally worth how gross that actually is. But, I do wish that some soul out there had warned me about one thing that I was not quite prepared for.......




No, really. The kid is a diaper ninja/renaissance man. He's not even two years old, yet he paints fantastic murals with depth and perspective. But why?Why out of poop? I would take an abstract honey BBQ sauce work on the couch over the diaper art! On the walls. On the furniture. On himself. I quickly got wise and thought, well I will just make sure he is always in pants so he can't get to the diaper! Wrong. He can remove and kind of pants with expert precision. It's impressive, really. And he is always so proud once he is discovered! He beams with confidence and self affirmation! "Behold woman! May your dense brain comprehend the magnitude of my creation!" 

Don't get me wrong I can detect brilliance! Obviously, he appreciates the beauty of nature and only wishes to project his artistic interpretation of the purest human experiences. I am proud to have raised a very young man with a mature environmental consciousness.  He only uses raw organic material!

You guys, it's fine. I'm sure your sons have some impressive qualities too.

Dear God, let's keep the poo poo behind the levees. Amen.