I can barely hear myself through all their screaming! Their chanting is making the stage hum under my killer heels. I point to the top row and the screaming somehow intensifies. In front they are clawing at the stage ready to devour me. My head is spinning from their combined energy battering my senses. All the critics and training. All those hours in the studio leading up to this moment! This is my life. They are here, here for me.
I am a Diva. I am the Diva.
People jam to my songs at the stoplights.
There are like 50 parodies on You Tube right now.
I am going to be a guest on the Today Show.
Oprah will probably tweet about how epic my beats are.
Beyonce is gonna text me like, girl you do the damn thing!
Lifetime will make a movie of my life.
I've made it to the show.
It's my time!
I put my mic up and pose, ready for the MC to drop the beat...the audience inhales and holds their breath. Those seconds feel like hours. The stadium fills with sound, it's time to give them what they came for. Don't think just let the bass find your pulse...
'I know you know me
You heard my Mama swag
I'm Lady Voyager
So run and tell that.
I got this double stroller
You know I got that chrome
My pants feel hella tight
The nicest ones I own
Your girl ain't just a baby Mama
Your girl will bust a move
I got the play group hatin'
Cuz they know how I do
They say I don't enrich
They say my stuff ain't packed
They say kids need more organic
Not those beluga snacks
So all my sista Mamas
Throw your hands up high
Shake those bearing hips girl
No gaps up in these thighs!
My kids done got my swag
They got this sugar spice
My kids know Mom is Queen
Of this gangsta's paradise!'
"Mommy I couldn't find you but I have to go potty. Why are you talking to a hair brush?"
Monday, March 9, 2015
Labels: creative parenting, funny kids, funny mom, humor, Mommy blog, parenting humor, stay at home mom
Greetings! I am the Mama Bear of three mischievous cubs, who both fill me with adoration and drive me batty. Here I have two blogs that I like to think of as my personal diaries. One is a creative outlet meant for play, and the other is a more heart felt telling of our family's journey through the foster care to adoption process. I offer no advice or expertise, only humanity and companionship as we navigate through this life in Grace and Love.